C2Comics Blog

Part 1 in the Unnatural Sex.

Times they are a’changing.  In the news today it is sex, sex, and more sex.  Not for titillation, but instead for rights.  Homosexuals want the same rights as heterosexuals, women want the same rights as men, women want the rights to their own bodies, but these rights are slow-going as before any vote or new piece of legislature is written up, the question of whether these acts are natural or not must be considered.

So let’s talk about the generally accepted view of what natural sex is to people who argue against these rights being argued for.  Only men and women should have sex with each other.  Homosexual relationships are considered unnatural.  Sex should occur within the confines of marriage, with the man as the sole breadwinner.  Women are better at being nurturers and should stay home with the children.  Men are better at being aggressive and obtaining food, either by hunting or working to earn money for food.  Men and women belong in monogamous relationships although it is acknowledged that occasionally polygyny (the marriage of one man to multiple women, not to be confused with polygamy which is gender-neutral) is acceptable.  If a man wants to take multiple wives it is considered a natural urge, however it may be frowned upon within their society.  Women are not to lay with another man besides their husband – the urge to do so is considered unnatural.  All sexual activity should be confined to procreation, none should be for recreation.

So in summary of the above, natural sex involves a husband and wife having sexual intercourse in the interest of creating a new human.  If sex does not fall into that category, it is deemed unnatural.

These definitions of natural versus unnatural begs the question of “who says?”  Ask the average person what the nature of human sexuality is and they can give you an answer (being a numbers freak, a survey is forthcoming), but how do we arrive at these answers?  One could say that whatever they feel is natural is natural, however if we consider the term natural to be what is most likely intended to be the natural order of things (i.e., mutations and deviations can occur, but are not generally intended), what each individual considers to be natural to them may not be natural to the species.

If we take a broader view we can ask what society deems natural, which indeed is what we are seeing in these debates.  A seemingly small subgroup of persons declare something is ‘natural’, another group argues it is ‘unnatural’.  So who is right, and where have we gotten these views from?  How do we determine what is natural or not?  Some argue that what is written in holybooks is what should be considered natural.  Different holybooks have different view, though.  Some say it is natural for one man to marry one women, others say it is fine for one man to marry many women.  Some explicitly say homosexuality is taboo, others ignore the subject completely with a seeming acceptance by omission.  How can we determine what is natural for the entire human race if we are not in agreement as to which of these books to use?

Agreeing on a book is a moot point, though.  We cannot understand what our nature is by reading a book, to understand nature, we must look at nature.

Wasn’t Thanksgiving just last week?  And now it’s almost Christmas!  Crazy how two holidays so close together on the calendar seem to have so little time in between them!  I mean, really amazing!

I’ve entered the lull now, the one between preparing the last lesson and grading all the exams they will take next week, so now my mind can dwell of more enjoyable thoughts….well, maybe not.  This is the time of year where, in coffee shops and diners across America, idiots begin to complain loudly about how they’re not “allowed” to say “Merry Christmas” anymore, and they have to say this “Happy Holidays bullshit”!  I feel sorry for these people on two levels.  I feel sorry for this huge change that is facing them.  I mean, 50% of the letters in “Happy Holidays” are COMPLETELY different from the letters in “Merry Christmas”.  It’s not like they’re just quitting saying “Merry Christmas” cold turkey, no!  They have to do something that’s (50%) completely new and strange.  Theirs is a hard life, surely, and I don’t envy them!

I don’t envy them either, their delusional paranoia that someone is “making” them do something, that they have to say Happy Holidays.  I’m not sure what they expect will happen if someone from the government overhears them saying Merry Christmas, but I’m guessing it involves gonad removal, limb removal, and boiling in oil, in that order, perhaps.  The complaints are so vehement and heartfelt, one can only guess this is what is going on in their tiny, tiny brains.

Honestly, it just makes me want to pull them aside and say, “don’t worry!  You can say ‘Merry Christmas’ without fear of the liberal Nazis kidnapping and murdering your entire family, immediate and extended!  It’s going to be okay.  It’s going to be.  O. K.”

True, if they want to say “Merry Christmas” to people when they aren’t sure which religion the individual follows, they may be considered by that individual as well as others in the surrounding area as being offensive, rude, and a christian-chauvinist, but hey – they’re being considered that now when they complain about “having” to say Happy Holidays.  Only when they complain about “having” to say “Happy Holidays”, they’re likely considered offensive, rude, christian-chauvinists, AND idiots (because of that afore-mentioned “you-don’t-actually-HAVE-to” thing), so may as well say Merry Christmas, right?

Of course, they may work somewhere where their employer wants them to say “Happy Holidays” to customers instead of “Merry Christmas”, so as to not alienate the growing number of non-Christians that may make up the customer base, it which case, it might be a big deal!  ….However, one has to wonder why these people are working for such liberal, unAmerican idiots who, for some reason or another, believes that all people are created equal, and we shouldn’t be forcing religious beliefs (in the form of a greeting) on customers in a public place.  …Seriously, why?  These people should quit their jobs, and work for….I dunno.  The Church?  ….

…yes.  These idiotic complains about what people “have” to say nowadays are what I would typically be hearing right about now.  Fortunately, though, it seems I do not have to deal with this obnoxious whining in the city I just moved to!  …Of course, that’s because everyone here just assumes everyone else is Christian.  The question upon entering the community is not, “Are you religious?”, or even the less tolerant, “Which religion are you?”, but rather the extremely annoying, “Which Christian Church do you plan to attend?”.

And just about everything is closed on Sundays.  FAN(aticism)TASTIC.

But, before I close this, with a warm seasons greetings (partings?), I just want to put up a link to the Freedom from Religion Foundation.  I just came across the website today, and so far I love it.

It was around this time last year that I came up with the brilliant scheme of rearranging the federal holiday calendar to not include any religious holidays.  To compensate for this, we should be given off a week for the two solstices, I suggested to a friend.  This would make up for the removal of Christmas and Easter breaks, which are now called Winter and Spring breaks….but still always manage to fall on Christmas and Easter, if not any other holidays.

“That’s not fair,” my friend complained about my new scheme, “because then you would be catering to the Pagan religions!”

While I understood her argument, I made the counter-argument that the change in the length of the day is an observable, physical event the world over can notice, as opposed to an invisible, arguably non-existent event only a portion of the country recognizes (which, of course, goes for any religion, not just Christianity).

My friend then pointed out another flaw in my plan, “well, if you change the date of winter break, Christians will just change the date of Christmas!”

This, however, would be awesome to me, and be a perfect example of the egotistical, hypocritical aspect of modern Christianity.  “What?  The United States of America, founded on not recognizing one religion over the others, is not recognizing Christianity over other religions?  Well, we’ll just change the birthdate of our saviour to make sure you recognize it again!”  Oh, they’ve done it before, but I am salivating at the mere thought of them doing something like it again.  It seems delicious to me, and I’m not sure if I could say why.

Anyway, we put that aside, then my friend asked if I would keep Thanksgiving, which, as we all know, is a Christian holiday.

“Bwuh?”

“Well, Christians were the first to celebrate it, and that makes it a Christian holiday.”

Now, to me, a religious holiday has to have something to do with the religion.  Like how Passover is a religious holiday about the Jews fleeing persecution with the help of their God (G-d?).  Or how Easter is a holiday about how Christ rises from the dead.  A religious holiday, to me, is not the ability to stuff your face with food (that was at least partially obtained by the Native Americans, possibly with their help of their God.  Oh, snap!).  Having food and being able to eat, for no reason whatsoever except the food is there (in contrast to mana falling from the sky), does not seem to be that divine to me, and I cannot recognize how Thanksgiving is a holiday belonging to one religion in America over any other.

If a holiday is inherently religious based on the religion of people first to celebrate it, then my birthday should count as a Catholic holiday.  I demand all Catholic schools be closed on January 14th!  And the next day, January 15th, the Baptists can have their holiday celebrating Martin Luther King Jr’s birthday.  But not the Catholics or non-Christians!  No, that there’s a Baptist holiday, cause Baptists celebrated it first.  Seems silly in that context, that the birthday of a man who changed the nation should be considered a religious holiday, even though he is remembered for national, not religious, reasons.

Kind of like if you considered Thanksgiving a religious holiday….

So while I don’t think my paganish solstice celebrations will catch on any time soon, I hope that regardless of which holidays people celebrate this year, we will all develop an understanding and appreciation of other cultures and religions.